Across the Traditional Family

Last month, Pope Francescu went to Abu Dhabi, where he met Ahmed el-Tayeb, the Grand Imam of Al-Azhar (Al-Azhar University is the main Sunni institution for the study of Islamic law). The two religious leaders signed a <x0-Document on the Human Brotherhood for Peace in the World and Co-existence” calling on their followers, as well as world leaders, to spread tolerance and peace and end the “moral and cultural backgrounds currently experiencing the world”.

One aspect of this supposed moral and cultural decline concerns the family: “To attack the family institution, despise it or question its important role”, the Pope and the Great Imam quoted “as one of the most threatening evils of our era”. The document states that the family is “the fundamental nucleus of society and humanity” and “is necessary to bring children to life, to raise them, educate and offer them a solid moral formation and internal security. ”

Their concern is understandable. In many lands today, the traditional family of a straight married couple of children is becoming less and less dominant. But is that a bad thing?

The United Nations predicts that the world's population will exceed 11 billion by the end of the century, with the fastest growth taking place in some of the world's poorest countries. Under such circumstances, if some people choose not to produce children, they should not be discredited.

The percentage of people who are legally married is on the decline in certain regions for a number of reasons. As the stigma once attached to sin <x0) fades, many couples see little reason to marry, whether they have children or not. In some lands legal difficulties and the costs associated with divorce are obstacles to marriage.

These couples, of course, can create families that are as strong as those created by couples who have performed a legal wedding ceremony. Similarly, families of “mixer” who bring children from previous relationships can offer everything a traditional family offers. In many countries, same - sex couples can marry and form a family, even though both the pope and the el-Tayeb oppose such families and do not seem to view them as suitable to offer children a solid moral “formation”. The trend among single women for having children, often using artificial in vitro fertilization or fertilization, certainly worries supporters of the traditional family.

Perhaps the most important change, however, is the increasing number of people who choose to be single. In the United States, 45% of adults are either divorced or widowed or never married. In some countries, such as New York, most people are single.

Contrary to the stereotype that single people are lonely and unhappy, research shows that single people are actually more engaged in a wide network of friends and knowledge than married people. They do more for the community and others, and they are more likely to help their parents, siblings, or neighbors than are married people.

This shouldn't be a surprise at all. Married couples are likely to put their spouse first - at least until they have children - and then that advantage goes to their children. The tendency to care for a broader circle than its family is politically preferred, especially in affluent societies where other family members are likely to be much better than distant foreigners in low - income countries. Both the Bible and the Koran recognize this more universal view as more ethnically superior.

We are not denying that there is a great value in dividing society into small units in which adults have specific responsibilities for children living with them. This is in harmony with our feelings of instinct, which we can observe in other mammals. Alternative agreements, such as the collective growth of children in an Israeli kibbutz, have not been successful, even though informal experiments in co-ordination, in which adult groups raise children of some of them together, seem to be spreading.

A well - functioning family provides a more loving and stable environment for children than any other model designed so far, but that does not mean that it should be based on a traditional marriage. In fact, despite the fact that the Pope and the Great Imam agree on the importance of families, Christian traditions and Muslims differ in their concept of what a family is, with the last allowing men to have more than one wife. If, despite these differences, Pope Francescu and El-Tayeb are ready to accept each other's support for <x0-feilment”, they should be able to accept other models, since there is no strong evidence that they are harmful to those involved, including children.

Interestingly, a <x0Dkument on the Human Brotherhood for Peace in the World and Coexistence” should state that doubting the importance of family is one of the most threatening calamities of our era. From a global standpoint, it is not beneficial to limit ourselves to such small units. Travels and the internet are enabling new friendships beyond home and beyond the borders of our countries. If we are really concerned about the “human brotherhood”, then perhaps we should attach more importance to building relationships that extend around the globe than to punishing those who view the traditional family as unjustly restrictive. /Project Syndicate/ BIRN/