The shocking story of Albanian intellectual: I've been raped for 20 years...

Domestic violence follows to be not only a plague of Albanian society, but mentality within the large patriarchal house in our country has overwhelmed every sense of women. The wounds of physical violence no longer feel in the body... the size of living with them. The only thing that scares them is the future of children, the start of a new life outside the family, which, instead of a love shelter, has turned a rebellious mate into a nightmare.

In the Office for the Protection of Honey and Family Violence at the Tirana Police Directorate, specialist Lindita Lushaku is the first person to host women, victims of violence. And with the word victim, it doesn't mean death, but a woman who until before the knock on this office's door has been alone, helpless, and prey to her husband's physical strength. Cases don't look like each other. But what unites women is fear of the bully, even when they are inside an institution, such as the police. And violence does not choose who it touches, if you are rich, poor, intellectual, not educated. Before the self - idealizing husband, all feel horrible.

From the cases I've handled directly, it was really painful. She was an intellectual woman, was violated by her vice - stricken husband, and accompanied by her sister in the indictment. And the sister was more stressed than violated, for she says: “I knew nothing until a few days ago”. In the meantime, the woman who began her marriage with violence had over 25 years of marriage. And the woman was so scared that at one point she said to me: “You have to make sure you don't identify yourself that you're protecting me” So great was the fear of the bully. He feared his mate, and he threatened him all the time. I've got her words stuck in my head: “amman just to get in, let's get inside quick and let's not let anyone see me”. It seemed to be a woman of sacrifice, raising two children with great effort. On the other hand, from what he showed, he was not a capable husband, but sometimes his wife even in her mind idealizes that man in behavior but also in his image, enlarges...”, the specialist recalls.

And like this lady, she's not alone. Many are women who do not want to be identified. Most of them report violence to the police for the first time over the years. Women are mostly directed to the police, but there are also those associated with a sister or a friend. Never from a male... “Sometimes they don't even want to authenticate. They say: How can I do that, but I'm not telling you my last name, only my name is”. Then, during the conversation, they open up, feel the security offered to them, and begin by showing”, says Mrs. Lindita Lusak. And when you ask him what the emotional situation is when raped women come to report, the specialist talks about a very serious situation, since most domestic violence victims turn to the police when Kupupha is filled.

“Dennonism arrives after continued violence. Very rare cases are that women for the first time on a violent exam address police. They don't come to the police with psychological violence, they generally come because violence has escalated to physical violence. When they arrive, their condition is very serious. In addition to denouncing violence against her, the woman condemns in some way the family's secrets, the institution that is so dear to each woman. Their psychological state is too heavy, it's spiritual pain, pain for children, family breakdown, fear of the future, fear of rapists, fear of loved ones”, says Lushak.

The shock they have experienced, the violence and the experiences gathered only within their souls, with fear of even confessing to a relative, are best manifested when they find the first man to whom they can say all their suffering. Specialist Lushaku says women also begin to confess their family secrets, to talk about the problems they think have led to violence. To some extent, even finding reasons to justify your mate. The marks on the body? In many cases women who have become victims of violence for the first time hide them!
The “primarily comes women with signs of violence. Many women are ashamed to show the signs, and you can hide them possibly. They are so shocked that they cannot say the main problem and show no signs of violence but try to express the cause of the violence. As much as sometimes if you are not attentive to making an external examination, this detail can also slip away from you, because it focuses on the problems they have, but not on the violence that has already become part of their life”, explains Lindita Lushaku.

Their greatest fear? To the future!
Most women do not know the possibilities and treatment they may receive from the state.
And even if they've endured psychological violence that escalates into physical violence, they say, Where I'm going, don't ruin my family because I have children”, it's compassion for the future of the kids, don't take the kids. It seems to him a difficult and uncertain way. As they arrive, we explain to them all possibilities that are in alignment with other institutions. It's a defense and reference mechanism for raped women, which starts treating them for integration. In cases of the woman who comes to press charges, she feels threatened at her home and cannot go back, requiring a safety order. In this case, it co-operates with NGOs -- Tirana's Together -- for their accommodation at the family's waiting centre for victims of domestic violence. There are other programs for employment, making a living. Then they deal with children, enrollment in gardens and schools. Meanwhile, with the approval of the defense order, when they do not go to these centers, the local inspector is reported to receive the address number, and the woman is informed if she sees the spouse approaching the bully, haunts you, or is in trouble to announce the inspection as well as the emergency number”, the specialist explains.

The work wants to affect closely confessions and experiences of the worst. But how does specialist Lindita Lusshak himself feel about women who look forward to finding the hope of starting from the start?
At the beginning of my work here, I felt pretty bad, although I try to leave the spirit part here, not to take it with me. But it hurts. Since sometimes other institutions that offer help tell me: “you have your man? I get so involved. It's a kind of involvement that you have to give them your best, tears fill my eyes with when I remember”.

The cases of domestic violence that have shocked public opinion after ending with their murder, such as the case of Judge Fildes Hafizi, have not frightened them to denounce their mates.
The fact that the charges of domestic violence have come by laying down shows that trust has increased. The cases have not increased, but the charges. Trust in police action has also increased in institutions dealing with domestic violence. They're not afraid that “Sic happened to her. From January to August of this year, requirements for issuing defence orders have been stepped up, from 478 in the same period a year ago, to 576. While denouncing cases of domestic violence have suffered a slight decline, from 416 to 407. /Reado.al/