The rapes during the war were turned into horror, state support.

More than 10 women, of various ages, had a fate that was far from good. Their memories weighing them heavily, weighing them down for over 20 years. Among them is the 19 - year - old girl, who in condition of anonymity shows that there are guards every day in her mind, the marks in her body to make it impossible to forget experiences.

I was reminded of what you had. That's where it looks like I'm terrified. I'm stuck, and I'm happy, you don't have to go straight out the door. It's just that the associations would bring us food, take my war stuff... The economic situation is not good either, because we are quite a member, it is not good enough. We're unemployed... (02:44) A man when there's no way out to get the memories of the war, how you came out, how you haven't been, how I went to the door and looked at it came in, so she called me "the stuff."

The months she was forced to remain closed, she tells Kosovo that she experienced double trauma. And during that time, she did not find support from the State, even though it was difficult for her to obtain a bite for her children.

Nobody helped us, except for these associations that brought us, how they fought. During the war that we had for a piece of bread, and I'm out on the street begging, that's how the pandemic did it... Think about it during the war what we had, you didn't have your child to do with it. He asked you for nothing. Pandemia has a horror, only in war, and now this pandemic. Because you're home-insulated, you haven't had money when you can't go out the door or out the door... when you don't come, except for these associations that brought us food packages, we've got a QO8x1>, she adds.

All of this is being reminded of the spring of 99 when she as 19 years old Maccabre was violated by the Serbian paramilitary forces. For two decades now, he never finds peace until he faces numerous health problems.

“Today, no meta meth, I'm thinking. I don't mind the value of my kid having kids. Is it harder than I am? I didn't raise a child when he's born willingly, who has a child's love. That I had it in my hand, maybe it hurt to let me go at that moment. Every time he talks to you, just every second, every minute I remember. That my mother beat me to try to protect us...

The mornings of spring days two decades ago are raising “the soul. It is still fresh on the day it was violated by the invading Serbian police forces. The state so far except that it has begun to recognise its status, they have not received any kind of assistance. It is hard to forget what has happened to him, much more so when he is in the body for 20 years now bearing the signs of the macabre act of Serbian aggressors.

We've been taken by the police and taken by one place, where we've been tortured as long as they want. I'm having a daughter without marriage. That's where we've been raped, we've got sos. Today those signs, with ashes when we needed it to be cleaned up, I, as if I saw them in the mirror, turn my life around. There you cry for help. There's no one to protect you. Today, when he saw the person who took me and raped us, I am able to know him. Because there was a lass around his eye... He didn't speak Serbian to me, he spoke Albanian. There at that scene, we were taken and raped, in a barn. He can't get any more naked, someone else helped him. I'm so sorry. It's where I've been stripped and violated. He begs the other one, I can protect him, he asks for the cigarette, he's told Serbian, but he's got the cigarette. He even took me where he wanted me. Today he has his mark on”, showing the survival of sexual violence.

Among the tears she confessed this night of May, when she was forcibly taken and violated along with many other youths.

It took us two o'clock in the day, at three o'clock in the night, we were fired... That's when we were released, when I was naked, that's where I lost consciousness. No, I tried to get my stomach and my back pain. I tried to get my feet kicked. I beg for clothes, they are so dark, I can't find them anymore. I found them, I got dressed, I got out. When I got out of that facility I saw my family get me. There's about 10 to 12 women... there's been told we're going to have to walk and not think about the fields, they're dark, they're turning on us. Get down, get up, I couldn't walk from the pain of the belly”, she says.

After returning home, he was unable to stand up for ten days in a row. He says he was forced to marry someone much older than that, only to cover his family's <x0...

I don't know how much it is to stop somewhere. I'm sick of being made of heavy beans, caught like a mother who catches an evaporation. It took me 12 years to pick up my oldest husband to cover up a receiver. But I took it. I didn't do it, but that side did this situation to get to this time. My life is a disaster, outside the exit door. I think someone's watching me. I haven't had a pleasant life until I came back, saying today this life of mine is a pleasure. I'm not even got a lot of that down to come to this”, it shows in condition of anonymity.

He never found support. From that day on when he experienced horror, his years were closed and spent. She found no support from her husband. Until the children found the strength and courage to tell them what happened to them.

Nobody knows she comes to the Kosovar Centre for the rehabilitation of Torture Survivors. In January of this year it has applied for recognition of the status of the victim of sexual violence, but has not yet been invited for an interview. For this, it calls on the Commission for Status Verification to be worked more quickly. Until he prays he doesn't have talks with Serbia.

There's no trop in women during the war. They're thinking of their own chairs, in which I sat. They do not give a woman the support she has experienced with her eyes. Every woman who has experienced this experience is left with faults. Please don't have dialogue with Serbia, that the government is talking to themselves that the family saved them, and there was no trauma I have. Because he's easy to sit there, and our graves don't mean anybody's got a clue to”, it ends.

She wants someone at the negotiating table with Serbia to represent her voice and many other women who are living with war pains. Her confession, says she is willing to reveal everywhere, yet she fears that one day her children will understand what happened 21 years ago.