Kosovo man testifies to sexual violence by Serbs: I said kill me.

He is already pointing to the new life after creating a family, but the nightmares of the past are impossible to forget. In the end, he accuses the state of doing nothing for this category. 867 people, of them 838 are women and 29 men, have won the status of the victim of sexual violence during the war. At the Government Commission in Kosovo for recognition of the status of victims of sexual violence, 1329 people have applied.

Full testimony for the “Balkan” show in Abc News

How are you?

Okay.

What do you do now? You got your family, you got your kids?

Yeah yeah, I got a family, we got everything.

What happened to you during the war?

During the war, I remember a special date, which I never forgot, I was buying something in town, and I went out into town, to a street there, where there was a roadblock of Serbs, there were soldiers. From a distance I said, go or not go, but once I got the power I said, I'm going. Maybe they don't touch me. Before I went there, I saw it, it was stopped by a car, and there were some young boys, they got them, they were checking them, they were pushing them. I thought, let's just get out of the corner and get through. But all of a sudden, a Serb who was in the army's clothes, stopped. I stopped, and I had a chip, we call it a Gypsy, I had something in that chip, and even the botni ma hang in there. I stopped and he said, give me permission to announce.

I showed him permission and he said where you went. I told her, I'm going to buy some stuff and I'm going home. He said, let me see his hands. When I showed him my hands, he said, you're a soldier. No shit, I told him. War had caught him on the sides. If we were left, some families were out of the way to Albania, nowhere. There came another friend of his and told him, take him, kill him. Take him, he said, don't talk to him, kill him, he's a soldier, he said, kill him. And there was a meadow there, in that meadow there was a house, not finished, it was just up to the blocks, without a roof, and it said, take it up to that place, and I was afraid I didn't know anything, I was sure, I said, they wanted to kill me, kill it, in Serbian, but now I'm not speaking Serbian. I've been taken to the corner of that house. When I got there, he said, leave the spider here...

DWhat's the puzzle?

Ciger tells the thing we carry things when we buy them at the store...

Trasta, bag...

It was white. He said, put it in the corner, I left it in the corner, and I got close, one had the machine and it was directed by me, and the other said, what to do with it, the other said, take it off. Just take it off, he said.

Take his clothes off...

Take his clothes off. I thought that now that they said, take off their clothes, they want to slaughter me, like I heard it was going on in the war with some families, and he said, take off his clothes. I didn't want to get rid of it, and I said, "What did I do, and I just know it came and fell behind my back." The guy with the machine gun has fallen down and he's down. I'm up next, Ma'ka said, "Get up." I'm not speaking Serbian. I don't even know Serbian. And when I got there, she said, take your pants off or I'll kill you. I've slowly stripped off my pants. He was a young man, 2728 years old, so one was 50, 53-54, same black guy, he kept his machine in the direction... I stripped his pants and then he started.

He started out first, but to be honest, he's dehumanized me. Minuti used to come, there was a cement there, there were some stones, or I could get the stone, but until I got it, I was probably killed. And even I started screaming, screaming and yelling, the one that was a little younger, he started first. It took five minutes, five or more. I've had too much pain. I've been screaming, I've had all the stuff... and the black guy who's been raping me for a long time, he's come and beat me up. He's fallen two-three times before me. And it's a terrible thing, and it's beaten me even as long as I've been standing in that corner of the wall, talking filthy words, telling Albanian nanas how strong we are. I forgot about her, I thought they were raping me and killing me, just thinking now, I could go home alive.

Both violated you, and beat you...

Once he raped me, then he did it, this young man, then he came up with his machine gun, he's got his pants on, he's got his gun and he's led me to his face. He said, "Come on, this one. And this, he said, should be raped. But he was terrible, black, like the other nation, and he... I screaming, crying, tears, disaster, begging him, for God's sake... kill me... once it's done to me. I said, kill me, he said no, so we'll kill you alive. Then he started and shot me like this, in this place, and I fell down, I fell, almost fell, a little bit, a little bit of concrete, I don't know if you're telling him the concrete, which is cemented... there's been a couple of bars of iron that almost fell into them, and you lose...

And he told me to get up, and this other guy got me, get up, and now I'm scared, you don't have what, you don't have what, that bad bam started, and he grabbed me from my hair and he shook my boom and boom. Like I say... or say, prey, prey, cut, and there is nothing. Then he started, he started hurting me, he started raping me, and he fell on my back, with blood, and there was a disaster, and the horror was. The other guy, he said, "Let go of me, 'cause I once fell down, fell on two knees, and he grabbed me again and picked me up. Violence too. From this side, I've been shot here, I've had enough lips made by fists. And he said, let's get this over with, and kill him, here and throw him in the corner. I don't know why they didn't kill me. He was better off killing me. So I actually became one, I got numb, I got the same, I didn't even know what. My whole mind, they won't let me go home. I forgot that.

Then they left you?

Then they left me. They gave me another kick and then, here. I fell down. And they thought I, a god, knows if I get up. And he said, "Let's kill him, kill him, or leave him," he said, "let him tell the others how strong we are, play my mother and my sister, and he said, "I have to fuck all the people." All, he said, I'm gonna fuck you up. Gradually, I took that chip and I went straight because they were four, now I forgot that, I said that maybe those other two are coming, and slowly, I started the way with blood, and erasing the blood, walking, walking, I went to a place where the bus was waiting to get into town. Then I went to the house. I didn't mean anything, even family, what happened...

Did you tell him?

No, I had to take the whole other topic, saying, they found me and beat me, so. It's just been a violation and it's violated me with psychic words, Allbancius, sister, sister, mother Albanian, I've come to my mother and sister and children, I've all violated you. I got your rifles. That was a terrible horror I've had.

Now when you see images of war on TV, even stories of what happened during the war, how do you react?

Now when I see a movie, when I see a violent story, that there are movies that are made, I mean, is my last minute, why God doesn't take my soul away? I mean, why s'vdes. Why? I'm so full, I'm so scared, I'm locked up in my room. Lock me down somewhere I don't want to see anyone. I don't find life interesting. Let the others continue. It happened, it happened. If you were telling someone the story, why didn't you run away, why didn't you kill her, I had done it like this, I was like this...

Of course you couldn't, of course you couldn't do anything there!

No no, there was a machine gun, if those unarmed people had come, I probably had pushed them, although there were two, something I had done. Yes, they did. They made it their own.

You have kids now, you have your family, they're fine...

They are. They're good, they're looking at me a lot.

Yeah, but they don't know what happened.

No, no, to us in Kosovo, the country is.

This is your sacrifice for Kosovo, for your family.

Yeah, yeah, that's just my memory. And that's what eats me every day. I get a lot of stuff. But the state has done nothing for this category, nothing has done. No one has supported us, no nothing. I don't know how this life is going, nothing. Horrible.

Thank you very much.

By honor!