Homosexual Imam relates to the challenges she has as a Muslim

Ludovic-Mohamed Zahead, is an imam from Algeria who is part of the LGBT community, and is the first imam to build the first comprehensive mosque in Europe. He did that 10 years ago. In this interview, he speaks of the challenges of being a homosexual Muslim, the newspaper Express broadcasts.

What was your experience, like a Muslim, to be declared gay?

I was young, 17, when I realized what I was dealing with, what I felt, was homosexuality. I was in Algeria during the civil war. This was not discussed, the issue of sexual minorities was not addressed, either in the public realm or in the family. In 1995, I was able to express my identity more openly, but suddenly I was unable to associate homosexuality with my spirituality.

The only interpretation of Islam I had seen was fascist, homophobic, prejudiced and anti-Semitic. My ideas about homosexuality were religious and quite homophobic.

It took me seven years to reconnect with religion, when I was in college, I had chosen to live from my sexuality rather than spiritual. Then, after reading and thinking deeply about who I was and why I left the spirit world and my culture so suddenly. I thought maybe there's a way to connect these two. Here I decided that I will return to the spirit world, through meditation and Buddhism.

I went to Tibet and saw a lot of homophobics there too. I started telling myself, at last, the problem is not religion or Islam: the problem is discrimination, prejudice and ignorance. When people are poor, economically and mentally, then they start to discriminate and fight among themselves, and minorities are the first to attack. This has happened in many lands and in many different historical periods.

What was your family's reaction when you declared? What were your experiences as an Algerian man who is openly gay?

That's not what happened at first. I didn't talk about this with my family. This theme was forbidden, it was taboo and I've heard: “If you're like that, you'll die ) people will kill you” There were a lot of threats, but obviously nothing happened, otherwise I wouldn't be here.

My father was the one who made the most of the effort: He came from a patriarchal society and had a different interpretation of manhood. When I was declared 21 years old, I told them it was very difficult to live with threats from my older brother and uncle. I told them if you'd take me for what I am, or I'm gonna go get my bags ready. But just tell me. We can't go on like this.” Here's when Dad, very excited he said to them: “He made his choice, we may not admit it, but we should respect him and his choice.” Then he told me: “Life will be very difficult for you. Don't come crying in my arms. I replied that I had made my choice, which I didn't even need to choose.

From now on, we haven't talked about this subject for about 10 years. It was so weird. But my brother and sister talked about their relationships in our family, and my mother came to me, and I was in my 30s, and she said: "You're very private, you have to share your life with us. So I introduced them to my fiancé, and they came to my wedding, and we go visit even during the month of Ramadan. We then got divorced, which could happen to anyone, but my mother told me “what shame, we really liked your husband.” Just as it happens in everyone sometimes things don't work. But my mother learned a lot about homosexuality through us and our relationship.

I'm lucky I was able to live in the West. It wouldn't be the same in Algeria. We wouldn't have the same fate. There's no freedom there. My family's future would be different. My parents are open, but they had to leave many members of our family. My uncle, after threatening me to die, threatened my mother too. My mother didn't talk to him since then. She too paid the price for it.

The surrounding mosque is now ten years old. How did it begin?

Ten years ago we founded the Association of Homosexual Muslims in France. This minority expressed the need for discussions of their spiritual world and for a kind of collective prayer. This was one of the main reasons why we founded the entire mosque, while many other associations do not want to participate in religious activities. They felt traumatic because the treatment they had received in religious spaces in their lives was not.

The mosque became the first comprehensive in Europe. Today, these kinds of communities exist, everywhere in the world: In Western Europe, the United States of America, Indonesia, Great South Africa, also in Tunisia. So it's spread everywhere, but it started in the U.S. and Canada.

The second reason why we created this place, where people can meet and talk about the spirit world, even people from the Association of LGBT Christians who want to meet me. Even some Muslims who before could not find themselves joined them. A young Muslim transgiar girl who had nowhere to go at the time and who is now dead. No imam wanted to pray for her death because she was transgiar.

They told me: you studied theology, religion and you're an imam. This was my first time in life to be asked to act as an imam after I left Algeria, where I also completed my studies. I have not repented of my identity and it is a great responsibility. At that moment, I knew: we should do something about it. I'm a man and if I go to the mosque no one bothers me. But people who are transgenerous do not share the same privileges. Privileges are not comprehensive and not safe. That's why we founded the entire glass. Our community exists in Paris and Marseilles, where we have the Kalem Institute with special rooms for prayer and emergency housing for LGBT people. It is difficult to continue and expand this community. We are either very Muslim or very gay. It makes you think it's impossible to be in both, but we have hope.

What were some of the biggest obstacles you've been trying to create? What was the reaction of Muslims that are not LGBT in the community around you?

Honestly, there weren't many obstacles. The initiative has had a very positive response. The first people to join us were very positive and motivated. We participated in protests for equal rights and marriage for all in Paris. Our participants were very politically bound. It was a rich period for progressive Islam. We had a lot of objections, and some threats, but nothing happened. We went on.

Islam, meaning “ ” in Arabic, and people are seeing this representation of Islam that has never appeared.

We also argued with Egypt University representatives on German television, Deutche Welle, and they told us that we are not true Muslims. The imam of the progressive mosque in Berlin, Ibn Rushed-Goethe, was with me. They argued with us and were unhappy, but at least they talked to us. The dialogue was open 10 years ago. Even they realized that our move will not stop, and they have to talk to us.

Is the number joining the movement increasing? How much has been changed in the last 10 years? And what are your plans for the future?

Most participants are young. This generation knows things don't change themselves. They want to learn how to build a more comprehensive society. For my part, I want to focus on educating new imams, and teaching more progressive in Islam. I encourage all those interested in creating these kinds of communities to move forward and do so. If I could do this 25 years ago, being Algerian, gay, Muslim, Arab, HIV positive, young and inexperienced, I think everyone can. We have to do it: we shouldn't be afraid when faced with reality.