Why Some Women Love Their Partners but Not Sex

When this relationship problem arises, the main question most women ask themselves is: “Does my low sexual desire mean that something is wrong with my relationship?

“As a therapist, I often work with clients who try to understand their low or reduced sexual desire,” explains Sarah Hunter Murray, a psychologist for Psychology Today and describes the matter.

Has there been an unexpected turning point or a gradual change in relationships over the years? Could the lack of energy be the result of child rearing? How influenced is sexual desire by culture and religion? How does one manage stress? Work challenges? A Change in Health?

Issues Included by Study

In a new study published in The Journal of Sex Research, Avigail Moor and her colleagues at Tel Hai College in Israel interviewed women who said they were in a long - term relationship and noticed a decline in sexual desire.

It was important to study that women have less sexual desire than their partners.

The authors interviewed 15 women aged 25 to 59. Most were married to their partners, and about a quarter lived in partnership. All women surveyed were required to be in a relationship for at least a year with an average length of 3.5 years. About half of those surveyed had children.

During half structured interviews, the authors asked participants about:

1. a) the quality of their relationship
2. b) how their relationship was affected by reduced sexual desire
3. c) an explanation of how their desire has diminished over time
4. d) how it affected themselves and their relationships
5. and how they themselves have been affected by their reducing their sexual desire
6. f) as a couple, they faced such changes in sexual desire

Love Is Not the Same With Sexual Desire

Participants said their sexual desire never led them to doubt their relationship or feelings toward their partner. This is, they saw sexual desire and love for a partner as completely unbound. For example, one participant said, “I never doubted a relationship. And the older I get, the safer I'm in our relationship. ”

More than half of the participants said they thought inequality in sexual needs did not negatively affect their relations. This women's subgroup showed that they had deeper and closer relationships with their sex - exceeding partner.

Examples included meeting together in parents and raising lives, which some women described as maintaining their strong relationship even if they had experienced certain sexual challenges.

My low desire, my problem

However, and perhaps a little sad, so that they could understand the decrease in desire while in a love relationship, many women in this study blamed themselves for reducing sexual interest. Feelings of guilt and self - justification often happened to these women during the interview.

Sex Pressure

Although more than half of those surveyed felt that changes in sexual desire did not negatively affect their relationship, the authors noted that most women still felt some pressures and tensions in their relations because of different levels of desire.

Particularly, despite relationships that were usually described as love, some women in this study showed that they can still experience conflict with their partner as long as it has been spent on their last sex.

Some women also said that they were concerned that their partner personally understood her low desire, even questioning her authenticity and feelings.

Balancing Strategys

Because of various levels of sexual desire, women in this study said that they would sometimes accept sex, even though they were not so excited about trying to meet their partner's needs.

Some women also discussed avoiding sex or the possibility of sex by inventing reasonings about why sex could not occur, such as pretending to sleep or avoiding physical love or touch, so as not to be interpreted as an invitation to sex.