The girl from Iran who needed her virginity certificate is confessed: I will never forget those black days

You tricked me into marrying you because you're not a virgin. Nobody would marry you if they knew the truth”

That is what Maryam's husband told her after having the first sexual relationship.

She tried to convince her that even though she had no bloodshed, she had never had relations before. But he did not believe him and asked him to receive a certificate of virginity.

This is not unusual in Iran. After an engagement, many women go to the doctor and take a test that proves that they never had sex.

However, according to WHO, testing virginity has no scientific merit.

Maryam's certificate said her type of anthem was “alistic”. This implies that she may not be bleeding after the sexual relationship.

It touched my pride. I had done nothing wrong, but my husband continued to offend me. I couldn't take it anymore, so I took some pills and tried to kill myself”, she said.

In time, he had been taken to the hospital and survived.

I'll never forget those black days. I lost 20 kilos during that time”

Increased Calls for an End to Practice

Maryam's story is the reality of many women in Iran. Being a virgin before marriage is still essential for many girls and their families. It is a value that is deeply rooted in cultural conservativeism.

But later things have begun to change. Women and men around the country have begun campaigning to end their virginity test.

Last November, an internet petition collected nearly 25,000 signatures for a month. This was the first time that the trial of virginity was openly challenged by so many people in Iran.

It's a privacy violation, and it's humiliating”, Neda said.

When she was 17, she lost her virginity to her boyfriend in Tehran.

I panicked. I was terrified of what would happen if my family found out”.

So Neda decided to repair her anthem.

Technically, this procedure is not illegal but there are dangerous social implications, so no hospital agrees to perform it.

Neda found a private clinic that would secretly perform it for a top price.

“I spent all my savings. I sold my laptop, phone and gold ornaments”, she said.

She had to sign a document to take full responsibility in case something went wrong.

Then a mother continued the procedure. It took about 40 minutes.

But Neda took time to recover.

I was in great pain. I couldn't move my feet”, she remembered.

She hid it from her parents.

I felt alone. But I think the fear that they could find out helped me to tolerate pain”.

Eventually, the trial that Ned experienced was futile.

The following year, she met someone who wanted to marry her. But when they had sexual relations, she did not bleed. The procedure had failed.

My boyfriend accused me of trying to trick him into getting married. He said I was a liar and left me”.

Family Pressure

Despite O'S Declaration The BSH for the framing of virginity as unrealistic and without scientific merit, the practice still continues in several countries, including Indonesia, Iraq and Turkey.

The Iranian Medical Organisation claims to perform the virginity test only under specific circumstances, both in court cases and in charges of rape.

Although, the most frequent requests for the test still come from couples planning to get married. So they return to private clinics often accompanied by their mothers.

A gynecologist or a mom will take the test and issue the certificate. This included the woman's full name, father's name, identification number, and sometimes even photography. Describes her anthem state and statement: “This girl appears to be virgin”

In the most conservative families, the document will be signed by two witnesses -- usually by mothers.

Doctor Fariba has issued certificates for years. She admits that it is a humiliating practice, but she believes that she is helping many women.

They're under pressure from their families. Sometimes I lie about the couple. If they've slept together and want to get married, I say before families the girl's a virgin”

For many men, though, marrying a virgin is still essential.

If a girl loses her virginity before marriage, she cannot be trusted. She could leave her husband for another man”, said Ali, a 34-year-old electrician from Chiazi.

He says he had sex with 10 women. “cannot resist”, he said.

Aliu admits there is a double standard in Iranian society, but says he sees no reason to separate from tradition.

Social sources recognize that men have more freedom than women”.

Ali's view is the same among many other people, especially in Iran's most rural and conservative areas.

Despite the growing demonstrations against virginity test, since this view is so rooted in Iranian culture, many believe a total ban on practice by the government and lawmakers does not seem possible in a relative.

Hope in the Future

Four years after trying suicide and living with an abusive husband, Maryam was finally able to divorce through the court.

It would be very difficult to trust a man again”, she said. “I can't let myself get married in the near future”

Along with tens of thousands of other women, she signed one of her online petitions to end the issue of virgin certificates.

Although she does not expect anything to change soon - perhaps even as long as she is alive - she believes women will one day have more equality within the state.