Why do we keep meeting people we don't want to see anymore?

Have you ever felt embarrassed to postpone or cancel an appointment because you know that the other person is expecting it with greater enthusiasm or worse than the plan is with you?

Aware of the importance of that meeting for the other person, we prepare willingly, hoping until the last moment that perhaps a message will come that cancels the agreement.

During the meeting, we can hardly find common ground. The discussion is reduced to confessions about people we know from common circles or an earlier period of life. We do not share the same views, we do not have similar experiences, and we often refrain from arguing or saying something that might hurt the other person.

However, our sense of obligation moves us to set aside another coffee or lunch.

This type of report, known to many people and causing gravity and guilt, has already received a name: “guilt-lunch syndrome”, or lunch syndrome due to guilt, transmits Telegraph.

Why are we accompanied by pity?

That is when we keep in touch with someone for the wrong reasons. Association with that person does not bring us happiness and satisfaction; nor does it inspire or enrich us emotionally. We continue our relationship only because of the guilt we would feel if we removed it from our lives.

On the other hand, there is usually one with whom we no longer consider a close friend but simply an old friend with whom we have long taken different directions.

However, we often feel regret because of his vital situation, which he may constantly mention: He has lost his job, has problems in his workplace, a mate betrays him, or is undergoing a marital crisis.

Without even realizing why, we become a kind of rescue for him and an arm he can cry for. Hence, we feel compelled to devote some of our time.

The problem is that the other side can take the relationship far more seriously, while our guilt holds us close to the people with whom, in other circumstances, we may not be friends at all.

If we have someone who knows how to motivate and feed our guilt to benefit, our patience can be seriously tested. Because we are often too kind to speak the truth and at times simply do not have the strength to refuse the invitation.

How to Turn Away Kindly

As we grow older, we have been taught that we should always be close to others and patiently listen to their problems. But it is often forgotten to be told that this does not mean that we should act against ourselves and always put ourselves at the end.

A healthy dose of selfishness is not a weakness of character. It's a way to protect our time, energy, and calm.

If we do not want to meet someone, it is perfectly right to reject the invitation, even when doing so makes us feel uncomfortable. Sometimes it is best to act as when we remove a Band-Aid - quickly and clearly.

Of course, it is not necessary to tell each person directly that we do not like his company. At times, a kind but clear refusal will leave no room for further persistence.

Instead of complex reasonings and fabricated stories that we can get involved in, we simply say that we don't have time, that day doesn't fit us, or that we need some space for ourselves right now.

The simpler the order, the harder it is to misinterpret.

It is also important to get out of the role of someone who should always be good, willing, and available to everyone.

We do not have to be side to cry at any hour of the day, nor do we have to solve problems for others because we have done so far.

It is all right to recognize that some people simply do not adapt to us and to decide that we no longer want to devote our precious free time, which we also have limited. /Periscope/