16 hours agoI forgave the man for his betrayal: Can I fight the woman who betrayed me?
Periskopi(3 years ago)
(3 years ago)In the Web site for advice on various problems in marriage, the New York Times also devotes a special piece to letters that people send to seek advice from experts. Below, we are translating a portion of a letter that a reader has discussed with the NY Times about the problem of [...]
A letter from the woman dealing with experts from Address Book in NY Times:
I've been married for 20 years. Long ago, I discovered that my husband betrayed me at the start of our marriage. His offer has lasted for years. After I discovered this, we both agreed to make an effort to complete our marriage by consulting experts. My husband seemed sorry and forgave him. Now we're trying to keep going, and the work is doing well. The problem is this: I know the woman my husband betrayed me. Anger over this, I still have and am obsessed with counting on it. I'm aware that this is not good for me at all, but the site I keep going so I don't feel hurt. Your advice?
Counsel given to wife:
Sorry for your enjoyment. And we are aware that being obsessed with your husband's girlfriend will have a bad effect on your health. If I were you, I'd do an individual advice with experts. You're telling us you've forgiven him, but in the meantime, show your anger with his ex-girlfriend. So you have turned your anger away from your husband and carried it to his ex-girlfriend.
I suppose many of us, imagine how you're fighting that woman in your fantasy, believing that this will do you better. But emotions are more confusing than that and unfortunately, we think you're focused on the wrong part: This woman has never promised to be trustworthy to you, nor will she ever betray you. It is your husband who made that promise. /NY Times/Periscope
