Van Basten's story: I didn't get on my neck by bad defenders, but bad surgeons.

We don't deserve it, you know? We've seen Van Basten, we can't take this» It was the last home fight of the 2001 season, 2002. One of those wrong years, in the crossway between two cycles. Javi Moreno, called El Ratón, the mouse, a meteor, played as a title. He came up with a hard cross along the right line. As he ran, the Spanish assaulter brought his right foot in a ridiculous way - once again, completely unconcerned - to check the ball that was preparing to touch the ground. Then you got confused and fell. A spectator approached you and began screaming as if it were terrible to assist in these spectacles, but who had experienced the short season of the Dutch Swan. Suddenly, the tribun public woke up from the ball and applauded. The invasion. The individual exploitation of a fan was transformed into the discovery of a collective feeling. The un-Marco, whose testimony has witnessed a beauty, of an ego that is absolute enough to make it impossible yet today's quest for an heir.

At the end of a slow afternoon spent in the private hall of a restaurant of his Utrecht, Marco Van Basten shakes his tea cup with both hands and for the first time lowers his head, as if to hide his eyes. The Italian title of his autobiography is “Fradile”. It refers not only to the cavilia he betrayed, but to the existential journey of a former champion kissed by the football gods and the bad luck, who has had difficult moments and had to wait «for his life» to show up naked and acknowledge his human weaknesses, the one who by his grace and talent seemed superior. «In Milan, I felt like I was part of a family. Together we've lived a lifetime. You've seen me born as a player and a man. You've seen me grow up and, unfortunately, you've seen the bottom of».

Van Basten, What do you think of the farewell football ceremony on the green field? San Siro?

It was all sad. They were sad at the looks of my former friends, who wanted to cross as little as possible because I was promised not to cry. It wasn't a party at all. There was sadness everywhere. The public and mine. I ran because I didn't want to be seen that I was lame, I shook hands with people, and in the meantime I thought that I was already gone. I felt like I was invited to my funeral».

Fear of the Future?

I just thought that night my father was football. Now I had become a sewer. I was only 31, I stopped playing for two years. I had my liver as a piece of pain medication. I had a terrible pain in that damn caviar. I was desperate»

You were also depressed.?

Then, when I got out, I realized that I had experienced something similar to depression. I didn't understand it at the time. I was extremely focused on being sick. I wondered why this suffering should be mine. I've never found an answer»

You still feel the victim of an injustice?

I fired when I was 40, which is, the age when everyone stops playing. There wasn't a morning until then where I wouldn't have thought about what I might have been».

What would have been done Marco Va Basten with a caviar Normal?

So I stopped playing at the age of 28. I had won three Golden Balls. Look today over 30 year old Ronaldo and Messy, where they are».

By the way...

«Ranaldo is a great player. But who points out that he's stronger than Mess, then he doesn't either understand football or he's malicious. Mess is unique. Inimitable and inexplicable. Like him, one every 50 years. As a child, he fell into the pan of football genius».

What did you do that came out of that black period??

I'd like to tell you that my wife, my family, helped me. I was actually a burden to them. It's been a really bad year. Maybe I should touch the end to start my new life».

When you realized that you had arrived?

One day when I was coming home, I don't know what kind of promotional event. Get out of the car. Angela, one of my girls, runs toward me to embrace me».

What was wrong??

It was my crutches, it was bringing them to me, like it was a natural gesture. She was already used to seeing me like this. I couldn't stand the idea that my girls thought of their father as a lameman. I got the phone and called the doctor»

To tell?

I accepted his proposal to block my career forever. It melted me with the rest of my leg. I can't even bend it or roll it anymore. I can't run anymore. But I don't feel pain anymore. From then on, I began to think of myself as a man with a life ahead of me and not as a rich cripple and nazel crying for myself».

Your first football memory?

I'm nine, I'm late for training. My father Yoop leaves cars in traffic to get the emergency lane in our little car and I'm scared. He had never done anything like this».

He was a tyrant father.?

No. He was a former football player and was very proud of me. At the same time, there was a father, as I say, Dutch. He explained soccer, supported me, but he was also distant, cold. I've never played for him, if that's what they're aiming at.»

Where your decisive drive has come from?

«From environment. From my trainers to Ajax youth. From Johann Cruijff, who was the most important football figure for me. With the urge I heard to be told that I was special, I ended up believing».

What football is for you?

A child's game, in the cleanest and trueest sense. Reports between players and trainers are regulated by a childly and irrational approach. I give you one thing, what do you give me in return? That's how it works. Hard to explain who is not part of this world».

That's why your press reports have always been cold.?

When I spoke to the Italian press, I felt really strange. It wasn't a good feeling. In the debut home of my first season, we lost Fiorenta. They asked me about the fight. I replied that I thought we interpreted it incorrectly. It became a real scandal. Only one defendant. At least one convict:

You were a little arrogant, accept it.

I had my mind. It says so much, it gets stupid and it creates incredible for days. But if a player dares to question the coach's tactic, it doesn't basically enter. There is no open discussion that might even be interesting. That's it, right away. I realized immediately that I would have to speak to you as little as possible».

That day, the coach was Arrigo Sacchi.

There's never been a personal feeling between me and him. He has never given me the impression that he is honest in human reports. He was never direct. Walk zigzag. When he was not satisfied with the way we were trained, he was caught with the younger, with the weaker, perhaps in fact at the top of the group's» withdrawal.

He made football history..

«E have made its players. That Milan was one of the strongest teams of all time. He had an important part. He was good at making friends with reporters. He knew how to build a high-innovation image».

- What?It wasn't.?

He didn't invent anything. Milan's module was neither revolutionary nor offensive. We listed extraordinary defense. What has made us win has always been the protection he relied on, actually devoting little time to the offensive phase».

There's something you won't do again.?

I once told him we won, not because of him, but despite him. It was so bad that he went out without saying a word. I heard I hurt him and he didn't deserve it. A free vent, which I'm sorry about, even though it's been too long. On a personal level, I don't have any problems with him, I remember him with a perfectionist».

You line up with “results” ill Max Alleggri, convinced that the coach has to do as little damage as possible, or with <x0 player” supported by module importance?

The players are more important. In football, it's only them. A good coach is the one who makes them the best, without having to force his ideas».

But don't you come from Dutch school, you're not a disciple of Crusoeff?

«ply. We have our own way of playing, that we never refuse. It was Johan who wanted to reinstate football players. The most important thing is individual techniques, not collective tactics».

The first season at Milan, the first Cavian operation. Have you ever had the feeling that since then your time could be over?

When I woke up, the surgeon told me I'd be back on high levels, but nobody knew how long. I just forgot. I was convinced I'd last forever. I always told my friends I was going to leave 38. As they did then, Franco Bares of Paolo Maldini. I really believed it. When you're young, you feel immortal»

Who was in charge of Milan??

«In hierarchies are always placed on the basis of skill. There's no value in age, success, salary. Only skill».

AThen why you're never considered a leader?

«I was obsessed with winning, and I was like Sacchi. Among us, I felt represented by Barnes, da Maldini, who was the youngest but felt the presence».

Friends?

We were helped. It was a team of smart football players, we said we were all semi-trainers. I'm still very close to Mauro Tasotti. But for all, I experience the infection that stems from the separation of such strong emotions. These are the things that remain».

You Have Ever Proved Pretentious Ruud Gulli?

I was actually grateful. When our bus arrived at the stadium, Frankie Riykaard and I were waiting to get out of the back door and be surrounded by journalists to get out of the back, to the absolute calm. He was good at communicating and he liked it. He took off the pressure of others»

How much you miss those years?

The best of my life. In 2018 my wife and I are back. In the evening, we walked from Central Station to downtown Via Puccina, where our home was. How Milan has changed!»

You'd stay forever.?

«Yes. Fantastic environment, handsome players. San Siro, the stadium I loved the most, was my home. We were happy»

But now?

«Even now. That's why I decided it was time to go naked and confess. It took me a long time to be a quiet man.

You know after a while. San Siro nwon't be anymore?

I'm sorry, too. But a big club must own the stadium. That's how it works today»

Why in your book do you tell in detail two goals against Pescara lai against Lecce, Instead of many more famous?

«One goal is worth the other. A technical situation should be examined, studied, passed under a microscope. But there's actually a point. They're babies of the moment. There never is a real explanation. At 90%, football is instinct».

It's worth your goal in the European finals, too, that unlikely shot.?

Of course. I scored because I had the caviar firmly and kept my leg steady while I was firing. A small reward. Two months later we made a friend in the same stadium. My friends made me try. I got the ball out of the body.

The Greatest Joy?

When they still didn't win anything. A moment ago. Our bus passing through Le Ramblas and Barcelona, occupied by Milan fans for the Cup Champions final. That evening I thought I ran out of an invisible hand».

Always convinced that you were robbed of a title?

Everyone knows it was like this, but nobody ever had the courage to say it. Before Bergamo's insistence, with the coin in Alemeo's head and the Napoli masseur telling him to fake trauma. Then our loss in Verona. One ambush, with a judge like Lo Bello who did everything to lose and kept it scandalously. A job well done»

By whom?

From the Italian football system. Who was interested in sending two teams to the Champions Cup. We all knew that we were favored to win back, adding a team to everyone. That was a real mess. I'm still burning this morning.

Jürgen Kohler, Pasquale Bruno... Who gave you more months of careers?

None. I respected them too. They wanted to stop me, I had to score. All normal. I was taken not by bad defenders, but by bad surgeons»

What the Date represents 21 December 1992?

The end of my dreams. I was playing like a god, I had a coach I liked, Fabio Capello. My ankle hurts, I decide to operate. The mistake that marks my life»

PSi You didn't hear the opinion of Milan doctors Monti and Tavana, who advised you not to operate.?

You can't imagine how sad I am. Every morning, for at least the next 20 years. My first thought in the wake was always him. I didn't believe them. I thought they were speaking in the interest of society»

- What?That his book, in every word of yours, shows a constant feeling of grief.

I'm a suspended footballer. Maybe the most famous of this category. I didn't get away properly. I'm not hiding that the rerun as a human has been difficult»

You've missed your mother's arm.?

By 1985, at the beginning of her illness, she was laid down in a mental institution. He had a cerbral stroke. She was a sensitive and sad woman, just as her marriage to my father had produced another sadness. It's been 22 years without knowing anyone. He couldn't enjoy children, grandchildren. Only when he left this world in 2007 did I realize that the nature of the deaf and unnamed pain has eaten me from within this entire time».

Why didn't you work as a coach??

When I returned to Ajax, a boy provoked me. “Are you Van Basten?”, he told me to follow the ball. “Show me what you can do”. But I couldn't move the caviar anymore. At that moment, I realized that I would not have been a coach like Cruiff, who lived with what had been».

Who was that aggressive guy??

Oh, I'm sure you know him. His name was Zlatan, named Ibrahimovic»

You liked it.?

I see myself in him. At the beginning of his career, he was similar to me. Very technical, all over the field. Then he also understood the secret of being big».

There is one?

Make a goal. Me, Cristiano Ronaldo, Ibra. We've all been through. If you want to be number one, you have to focus on the goal, just the goal. You have to be a car»

Even at the conclusion of your final task as a coach, you talked about depression.

In this case it was different. I had constant panic attacks and anxiety so that I didn't miss anything. Before meetings with the press, I lay on the floor in an empty room, looking for strength to come up and respond to criticism».

Where such uncertainty came from?

From my mania for control. I wanted to do things perfectly, I couldn't enjoy it. I refused to be discussed. I was a football freak».

How Sacchi?

Maybe I will. People with different ideas but consumed by the same nightmare».

When you realized the coach wasn't for you.?

«One of the last transfers with the Dutch national. I arrived at the airport, we were in Minsk, Belarus. Everyone avoided me as if I were afflicted with some mysterious illness. This feeling of permanent loneliness weighed heavily on me»

How did you get out??

I was already through these awkward situations. I've had the simplicity to admit, in time, I've learned that you shouldn't be ashamed to ask someone to help you, admit to yourself that you're bad. So I've been the one that's been saying a lot of».

Apart from your quick career, do you have any other worries??

That I couldn't make peace with Johann Craig. My idol, my teacher, my friend. He died before I could say how important he was to me»

The Causes of the Fight?

There was a project, a utopia. He wanted to renegotiate the former footballers. I should be the team manager. Then he let me out. I never understood why. Maybe it was a way to protect me. I went to see him, and his wife kicked me out of the house. I never spoke to him again, even though I made peace with his family afterward. Johan, I'm missing»

What came to your mind when you told Sieg heil Nazi on Dutch television?

A storm in a glass of water, caused by my stupid bat. Sometimes a man's trying to make fun of himself, when he'd better shut up»

What's your current report with football??

«Live a permanent state of ambition. On the one hand, I always repeat that I haven't been so important, that I was one of the many who did good things».

And another?

I'm always afraid people will forget me. She was right Sacchi, I'm just a little lunatic».

MYou tell me about the painting at the entrance to your house.?

I bought it at a gallery in Milan when I played. It's a dancer who's taking a classic dance step. There are only two colors. Red and black»

Who Is Today Marco Va Basten?

A future grandfather. A good father and husband. An imperfect person who has known to fall in peace with his frailty». (Marko Imaricio for Sette hierriere della Sera, The world..)