9 Parents ' mistakes out of love for their children

Most parental mistakes are usually made for the sake of love. Parents may often feel that they are helping their children to develop and grow up (from time to time through punishment).

But long - term results in depression, anxiety, or cancer, for example, show that something has gone wrong. But if you realize that you are making a mistake, there is still a chance to raise a new generation of wise and happy people.

Only for you have we discovered 10 mistakes that parents should avoid. And if you believe in ordinary people more than in scientists, we've prepared a bonus section just for you.

helicopter parents can leave their children without friends

When studying helicopter parents, scientists from the American Psychological Association noted that such parents were constantly inclined to instruct their children by telling them what to do and how to do it.

Of course, it is normal for parents to do their best to keep their children healthy and secure. But children will not learn how to manage their emotions and emotions without space to grow.

This parents will cause social adaptation problems, the ability to make friends, and the analysis of behavior.

If creating childly misconduct is not your primary goal, you must be sensitive to their needs. When you notice that they are able to manage the situation without your help, let them do so.

You can guide them in difficult times, but not dominate them. Talk to them about their feelings and emotions, and share some positive strategies to cope with stress.

A blow in the name of discipline can lead to respiratory problems

There is faith that physical strength helps parents to discipline their children. And not only do many people agree but they use this method actively.

For example, the results of a 2012 survey show that 94% of parents often shoot their children. This myth must disappear because science tells another story.

Experts say that physical abuse can lead to different negative results that we least expect. Antisocial acts, psychological disorders, and drug and alcohol addiction are just a few examples of behavioral problems.

There is also a higher risk of cancer, heart disease and asthma development. If you ask which techniques work more effectively and increase your child's self - esteem, try stable and reasonable communication, scientists will applaud.

Comparison is the key to low self-esteem

Have your parents ever compared you to someone else? “He's convinced, but you're not!” “Emili can count to 100 while you can hardly reach 10. ”

They may feel that such analogy can motivate children to be better. But we don't believe this to be true.

Psychologists ask us not to repeat this mistake and explain why such behavior is harmful. It turns out that comparison with others reduces self-confidence and self-esteem to a child.

This could also create a gap between you and your children as they will constantly feel insecure and lose their trust in you.

They need your absolute love and support in every situation, so it's better not to show that you've been disappointed, but instead to talk about the problem.

Unsuitable parents lead to a sensitive child

One day you ask your children to clean up their toys, and tomorrow you do it yourself without saying a word. Yesterday you were in a bad mood and punished children for an innocent joke, but today you feel wonderful and let them do whatever they want all day. When a mother is angry, Dad is smiling.

These are just some examples of an unstable environment that causes children to wonder if they are doing what parents expect them to do.

Scientists say such uncertainty can negatively affect the development of self - esteem and increase the sensitivity to depression and anxiety.

That's why it's always better to make certain rules and set boundaries. They will help their children to understand what will happen and how to react to it.

The more you scream, the worse the behavior of a child

Imagine that your children are behaving badly. You asked them to relax once, twice or three times and then blow up. Screaming is actually an effective method that helps us to give up the emotional fluctuation within seconds.

And some parents believe screaming is a good way to solve the problem right away. But have you ever thought about the consequences of such parental style?

Let's see what scientists say about this.

To begin with, screaming can make your child's behavior worse. This also leads to anxiety and depression, and it can also cause chronic pain.

We believe it's not something you want your kids to have. And it's never too late to adopt new parenting methods that will help your children grow up.

High expectations will never make children perfect

We believe that there are no parents who want their child to become a failure. And having great expectations actually motivates children to reach out. But only until our expectations become unrealistic purposes.

And it is important to be able to identify this change because it leads to disease and causes various disorders, such as insomnia, anger, fatigue, or anxiety.

Ryan Hong, a scientist at Singapore National University, explains, “Children fear that they make mistakes when parents expect them to be perfect. ”

Wonder why your child is so bad? Look at you.

There is a beautiful saying for this, “Anything you sow will reap“. And that reflects completely a parent-child relationship.

Studies confirm that children take values from their parents more than anyone else. And they also copy their behavioral patterns. So if a child spends most of his time with you and you ask yourself where he or she taught “those bad words”, pay attention to yourself.

If you fear that society is the main source of influence, experts can assure you. Schools, friends, and other additional activities that children engage in can be useful in their own development process. But their primary function is to strengthen the knowledge and values they have taken home.

Fear Tactics Not Effective

Sometimes parents scare their children to get them to behave. If you don't stop, I'll take you to this man and he'll make you shut up! ”

This tactic can work really well. Then why don't psychologists recommend using it?

Scientists explain that fear uses the lowest levels of our brain, so children are unable to think of their behavior when they are frightened. They will also fear police, doctors and other people whom their parents use to that end.

Moreover, they will be more frightened as their brains learn to be quickly frightened. It is better to find other ways with a more beneficial outcome for disciplining your children.

Avoiding unpleasant subjects that can turn you into a grandfather very quickly

Some parents tend to avoid discussing sex matters with their teenage children. They point out that they do not have adequate skills or vocabulary for age to cover such a difficult subject.

They also hope that their children will be able to learn about it at school or from friends.

We believe this is irresponsible behavior, and science confirms this.

According to this research, it really matters if parents discuss sex with their children. For example, adolescents are more likely to experience later and use birth control if the issue is not ignored in their families.

Both sides can be just as nervous, and that's perfectly normal.

Saying, “1 in a million” is the cause of arrogance

Do you happen to tell your children that they are special or that the whole world is for their enjoyment? You believe this will increase your children's confidence and self-esteem. But experts warn us that this could lead to unexpected results.

Brad Bushman, coauthor of the study, points out: “It is important to express warmth for your children, because it can promote self-confidence, but overestimation can foster even more narcissism. ”

That is why it is essential to find a balance between these points.

If your child is lying, this may mean that you have exceeded their past mistakes.

Children can lie for many reasons. They may seek attention or simply want to control your reactions to their lies. And psychologists confirm that this is a natural step in their development.

But if you are not likely to respond to your children's mistakes or failures, they may use lies to avoid getting into trouble again.