Why don't we get the kids to say sorry?

Have you ever seen a child pushing a peer and seeing that an adult is looking at it, says in half voice “excuse me”, in a way that shows that only “excuse me” s pursues me.

Clearly, this does nothing to help the damaged child, nor does it teach any kind of teaching to the one who did the action. But what else can you do? How can you teach your children what they have done wrong, how to behave, and how to be sensitive to others?

There is another way and it is surprisingly direct.

If you want to teach your children by solving things without saying “I'm sorry”, try this simple process.

An adult's role in resolving conflict is to be a neutral mediator, to raise questions to encourage children to express their feelings by talking to each other.

First, share your children

If the conflict is violent, the first step is to separate children so that no one gets hurt. This is done firmly but without anger. Control of your emotions may be difficult, but the more neutral attitude you focus on children and helps them feel safe to talk about their feelings and to be honest about what happened.

When children are relatively calm they are willing to talk to each other.

Then ask questions like: “What happened? How do you feel?”

Start by asking every kid what happened. Then ask him how he feels.

Repeat what he said to ensure that you understand and that it is clear to the other child. Are you upset that John told you he wouldn't play with you and push you?

Then give the kid a turn, “John, you're upset because Tim followed you to the playground and hit you?

What else should you do?

Instead of serving a sentence, ask your children what they could have done to handle the situation more appropriately.

You may need to give them some options for how they can respond.

For example, you could say, “John, it's not good if we postpone our friends. You could have told Tim not to follow him and get help when he was hitting you. Tim, you could have asked John to play with you instead of following him.

In time, children will always be able to do so on their own.

What does it take to feel better?

Many times, children will be calm after this conversation. At times, one of them may still be hurt or frustrated. You can ask them, “What should we do to make you feel better?”

Children often seek a hug or sometimes a drink if they are hurt. Help both sides feel better about helping children with everything they need.

Why doesn't it take punishment?

You may notice that there is no mention of punishment in this scripture. This is because experts recommend focusing on natural treatments and not on penalties.

Often, there may be no need for punishment in order to solve conflict, but if a child constantly breaks rules, punishment may be necessary.

For example, “John, this is the second time you've hurt your friends in the playground today. You stay with me right now until we leave. ”

What about apologizing?

According to experts, instead of making your child apologize, try to modify the way you apologize for them. Practice this language with your child or partner before your child.

If you give an apology model, the child will do much more than that.

Help your children to work on what they can use, and help them to feel better. Some children may feel satisfied after apologizing.

Of course, there are even times when children should apologize, but there is room for fights with their peers.

Let us pause and give them the means by which they should talk about disagreements, express their feelings, and be peaceful people in a world that is sorely needed.