Sex story/ Albanian teenager speaks: Here's what Uncle... (+18)

I'm a fourth-year high school student. I live in Fier and I love my city because I have relatives and friends here, but I dream of coming to Tirana for high school and then getting married and living there. I don't have much chance here to live the way I dream...

My brother has been living in Greece for six years and he is the only financial source for our family. There he does different jobs, but we trust that, above all, he's an honest man who works hard to get us a living. He's got his own problems there too, because he has to pay the rent where he lives, feed, etc., so we fix with what he brings. When I went to high school, I saw the difference between my level of living with my peers. I asked my family for money when they said it, but they didn't. I watched the girls go to the bar, but I couldn't go. They left for birthdays, discos, and I did not leave because I had no money to make gifts or to wear anything special for the occasion. I felt so left out and how sick I felt when I saw my friends go drinking coffee when we had lunch hours, and I stayed in class on the pretext that I would say something about the next hour.

One day a classmate told me that a friend of her boyfriend had asked her to introduce me to her. He said:

He likes... How about you come to the disco with us Friday after school to meet him?

I was stunned for a moment that I said: “What did I like? He didn't even know me, he plus that I wasn't like my peers, that I was holding and painting. Anyway, I thought I'd meet him once. I borrowed this friend's beautiful canister and a slightly extravagant pair of jeans, and after school we went to disco. As we had left, there would be Goni.

When I went, Manuela said:

This is the guy I told you about.

I thought he was cute and I decided to introduce ourselves. We met, and he invited me inside to drink nothing. We sat down, we were talking, and he seemed like a nice guy. He told me he had been in Switzerland, and he had not been here long. He was thinking about opening up his own business here, like a bar or a restaurant.

She told me that she had seen me leave school and that she liked me because I was an honest girl and I didn't stay in locals like everyone else. Frankly, I did not go to the bar for reasons I said earlier, but I did not want to tell him. I thought that's how he'd like me even more.

That day he told me he was serious about what he was saying and kissed me. That was my first kiss. I thought he was different, with a man I'd love so much, in a more romantic place, but I don't know, an inner voice told me I'd have a great time with him and I wouldn't have any trouble like that.

So we started going out after school sometime. He said we should go out alone because he was so jealous. I agreed because it was important for me to go out with someone because I was very upset when I went home right after school.

One day he told me he wanted to give me a gift. I told him to shop so that we could see together what I could like.

So we went out and bought me some expensive stuff that I only dreamed of. I was looking forward to having a school party to dress up and show them to my friends. Valentine's Day was finally coming and the school was hosting a party. I was very happy and decided to go with Gon.

I wore a silk dress and a pair of beautiful black boots. When I walked in, all my classmates were surprised and began to compliment me.

At one point, when Goni left out with Manuela's boyfriend, the girls of the class jealously began telling me different battas with irony that I would feel bad. One approached me and said:

Have you caught yourself? ”

I just came to grab it from my hair, because I know it's out of envy, because that girl who said that likes Goni herself. I was told Manuela that she loved him, even that day at the party she had asked Gony to dance at a moment that I went to the bathroom, but he had refused.

After the party ended and I left home, I was thinking about my relationship. I have also given him virginity, but I have no love for him. I don't want to think that what I want is just his money, even though the latter have made me very happy. I no longer feel inferior to my friends and can satisfy all my desires. Sometimes I feel used because after having sex, he gives me money and says:

Whatever your heart wants, just don't worry! ”

The moment I take the money out of his hand makes me feel bad. I have nothing else to do!

Sometimes I feel guilty because when he tells me he loves me, I answer: “I do too, but inside I know I'm lying to him and I'm sorry about him, because I'm telling him the truth. Maybe in time I'll feel something for him, maybe now it's just the beginning, and I don't have to press myself with questions and such accusations. I wish my brother didn't know this relationship was gonna get really bad and he'd tell me <x2. > Why am I working for you so you can hang out with people like this? I would be very afraid of his prejudice, even though sometimes I think he would just think of me as being true.