7 Wrong Thoughts That Can Separate You From Your Partner

Our thoughts are a filter that strongly influences how we view and feel about our partner, for better or for worse. Positive thoughts lead to good feelings, harmonious interactions, and intimacy. Negative thoughts lead to bad feelings, anger, and discontent.

Our expectations in relationships are often a form of wrong thinking. If we get involved in such deviations all the time, they can contribute to conflict and division.

Read on to learn about some of the most wrong and common thoughts in your relationship and how to reorganize these harmful patterns of thinking.

1. Overarching

We assume that a thought/fact/review applies to any situation.

Example: You think your partner is “always” critical or “sometimes” doesn't like your gifts.

Try this: Look for more positive ways to see things, since truth usually has more gray shades.

2. No! No!

We believe that a situation is much worse than it really is.

Example: We think that our partner will never forgive us for a simple mistake - a mistake we would easily neglect if roles changed.

Try this: Look for alternative ways to view the situation, such as that your partner may get a little upset, but it will not be the end of the world or the relationship.

3. Personalization

When everything is done, it takes every action personally.

Example: Suppose the partner left a dirty pan to prove that he was angry; in reality, he simply skipped or planned to wash it later.

Try this: Ask yourself whether your partner's behavior is necessarily caused or directed toward you.

4. Emotional Reasoning

Suppose our emotions are providing useful information.

Example: We believe that feelings of jealousy imply that the partner is unfaithful.

Try this: Practice to see emotions as they are, signals that draw our attention but that can or cannot be based on actual facts.

5. False Feeling of Responsibility

We believe we have more responsibility than we actually have.

Example: We think our partner's happiness depends entirely on us and assume it's our fault when they're upset.

Try this: Ask them if you have as much control as you assume you have and remember that the feelings and actions of others are their responsibility rather than your own.

6. I have to.

We think things should be the way we wish they were.

7. Reading the Mind

We assume we know what your partner is thinking.

Example: We think that your partner is disappointed with your physical appearance when he might actually like the way you look.

Try this: Challenge the assumptions of reading the mind, which are often just your designed thoughts, not your mate's real thinking.