ECSCLUZIVE: Zoran Vukotic's victim reports horror: I lost two children after the act, suffered a lot

Zoran Vukotic was sentenced today to 10 years in prison, charged with committing sexual violence crime during the war in Kosovo. This is the first case someone is convicted of such a crime in Kosovo, by local courts. Although delayed justice, this day marks a turning moment and hope, not only for the victim who recognized the rapist and testified against him but for all other survivors that one day justice will be established. Kosova Prees brings exclusive testimony to Zoran Vukotic's victim, which recalls what happened 22 years ago.

Note: Names of persons, countries and dates have been censored because the survivor is confessed under anonymity

A woman in her mid - 50 ' s, victim of sexual violence during the recent war in Kosovo, after more than two decades, faced once more the man who caused her life's suffering.

What happened to him became a daily burden, brought him down, but did not let him give up. Injured, but his emotions did not allow him to appear, and he was able to speak the terrible truth that happened to him 22 years ago.

When he entered the court, I immediately recognized him, immediately. I have not felt so well, but I have grown very strong, God has given me so much strength that I have faced him with great pride. As for this, I know I haven't done anything, but it's been a crime that happened to many of our mothers and sisters who are not even allowed to mention this day. Many of them don't even exist. They didn't have my whole destiny, which is my husband's side, or someone”, she confessed.

B. K, which is a well - known name for editing, can hardly breathe when remembering the event. Her past killed her daily. Exactly for Kosova Preris, he relates how more he wanted himself dead than alive.

I'm starting to cry, but I still kept myself, that pride that I didn't want him to see with tears, and to know that I'm suffering so much. As long as he's tried to make me feel bad. But I never came back to see his face, the criminal, who remembered me like that day, like 21 years ago. I was three months pregnant during the war, when the act happened. After the end of September, I lost two boys. And I know that power came in there and I said I lost two sons because of you, but thank God I have a 20-year-old lion, don't think you told me the spirit of”, that confession follows.

The experience comes to him in dreams, in the morning, in the evening, on the street, and at home. I can't get them off my head. It is best not even after January when she faced the person who, she says, destroyed her life. The woman, near the age of 50, prays never to meet with Zoran Vukotic, the Serbian national who is also accused of other crimes against humanity.

It's been coming back to me ever since the case (remembered date) I felt like that day happened. It's been very heavy for me, then, but at that point I've become very strong, I've become very strong”, she says.

The January 21st day of this year, when this survivor faced the violator at the court hearing, was considered historic for organisations dealing with their treatment for two decades now.

I remember the moment the person entered, the defendant for the crime committed, the survivor has begun to make uncoordinated moves, leaping like rabbit. I was trying to hold my hand, trying to stay close, and it was my goal, but neither did I. It was impossible, the current that arose between being among the survivors, even among the violence, is an undesigned emotion. It also brings you back to the events of 99. Although it was exciting, and most of all I want to share with the broad opinion that we are dealing with a woman who has unfathomable strength. Having achieved all the crime that has been exerted in her body, recording it is not easy. It's been an emotional moment, he tearfully tear the body of the court, and the people who were present -- ”, she adds.

Months of spring send him back in time and remind him of the event that caused him intense pain. She also recalls on the day of the event, which she said did not need to tell her family anything because it looked like her appearance that something terrible had happened.

“From the exact date, we stood by the cemetery on the day before the morning, the Serb forces expelled us from our homes. They threw us out of the graves. On that Day, they will be separated from the males, and the sons - only women, and sons, and old women. That's where we've been led to a bar getting some cards. We've been lined up there, waiting to get in there. Once inside, that's where the worst happened. By date, I met my husband, he was only after the war ended. I still had the same home because my family was settled there. There's no need to tell, that it's shown my own terrible looks,”, follows the confession.

Why many of them do not say it out loud, justice is considered sacred to all survivors. In fact, in public two years ago, get Tahiri- Sylejmane handed over criminal gossip to the Kosovo Special Prosecutor to seek justice for what had happened to him.

Justice for me has a huge value. We know that fairly the survivors of war, the women, the girls, the men, the boys will feel so much easier. We'll find a calm, quiet, social, where I hope we keep living a normal life. Justice is upon all of us, and we owe it to our families and our children, so that they may feel at ease that justice has been found for their mothers, fathers, sisters, and brothers”, she says.

Despite the conviction, the survivor, who confesss to Kosovo Preress, says the suffering of many Kosovo women and men will remain untainted.

The day she was violated, you were carrying two lives. After the war ended, he had an abortion in the seventh month.

I was sent to the family doctor that night, but the only doctor who existed in (sensurated) was to work in his home as an ordinary. That's where my mother-in-law and my sister-in-law were sent. I've been hurt in the body with a lot of blood, all the worst that can happen. I've used therapy, and after the end of the war until the seventh month (the pregnancy) I've lost (phobes)”, it tells of Kosovas.

Justice seems far away in the dark tunnel. Despite the provision of full crime files, none of the Serbs have yet been convicted.

Justice for me means everything, 21 years for justice, I finally believe that day came. I'm hoping that day has come because I've suffered so much. I've suffered a lot. A lot. But I've succeeded in supporting my husband, and I've made it all right. Because, even if he wasn't my support, I wouldn't be today. Because sometimes I wanted to commit suicide. But thanks to God and him, today I am even stronger”, she says further.

Her husband's support was not in the state.

I have missed much the support of the state, that immediately after the war I witnessed, immediately after the war, to UNMIK. That evidence does not exist, in 2010 I witnessed in EULEX and that evidence is nowhere to be found. Now I've witnessed in our court, and God wants justice and justice is going to the place”, she hopes.

She's faced with everything, lots of pain, frustration and suffering. She was interviewed in the War Crimes Police in 2018, and she has witnessed to the Special Prosecutor.

Predestination involves healing, treatment, not only for the person in question who has experienced war but also for her family, the children we owe, but also for society. This process has started very early, but the fate has been that on January 21st of this year, the survivor of sexual violence that has been part of the organisation's treatment, a person who has benefited continuous training in the organisation, has succeeded in testifying to all crimes done even with dates and facts about how that crime was exercised in war circumstances and how this crime has been part of an arsenal of violence that the person in question exercised in proportion to her body”, she relates.

Throughout the process, the survivor has been supported by a professional team that has helped her to be able to testify to the criminal court.

The client to us has been showing up since 2017, and we've initially focused on rehabilitation of her trauma. Offering both individual and group treatment to strengthen the social part of it. And from the moment the indictment began, the release of the survivor's statement before prosecutors, to presenting the survivor and confronting the bully, we have held intensive hearings in order to strengthen it emotionally so that it can be dealt with in the best possible way with the bully”, she relates.

Her physical and psychic state also witnessed in court.

She's had a lot of somatic problems on her back shaft, high blood pressure, disorder sleep, she hasn't slept for days, plus when judgment began. It's been a very difficult case, when surviving after the court meeting with the rapist has made much worse. She has also been forced to make magnetic resonance, and she has had problems with her spinal cord, all the time crying. He didn't expect her last week and she's here, almost every second day. That many times has lost consciousness at home”, it tells of the survival situation.

The QKRT, which has given support to this process, hopes that this case will make the history of the Republic of Kosovo, to be a symbol of the empowering of thousands of women and men who gave testimony, but the same remained in archives.

We're dealing with a person who has exercised, paid for, level and dimension of violence, with his own body. Here I can speak best of the victim and come from a person who has experienced it so seriously that he can make the case come and face the court and have the bully on his right side and speak the truth, I think it's a story in itself. The fact that it's the first time we've been supporting her and trying to offer her the best possible opportunities is for her to feel good and stable. It is the first case that we hope that the court will make the right decision and we hope that the case as such will triumph with justice which is denied”, she points out. The woman who can barely sit while talking about her life calls on all women to insist on justice. The latter says he is able to testify everywhere.

After 20 years of going with an investigative we went for the first time, I felt really bad, and she felt bad. Because I've never been to that place in 20 years, I had to go there and witness where it happened. I know that day has been too hard on me, too. If justice is achieved and he gets the sentence, then I believe I'll be quiet, at least these years as long as I have left to live quietly, I know that someone was convicted of this crime that he committed”, she says.

B.K. now has the status of the female sex violence victim during the recent war in Kosovo. Her soul and thousands of women and men will not rest until these crimes are judged. Although the same ones are still facing stigma, prejudice, and insults.