I discovered my wife's betrayal after 12 years, and now...”

I found sex messages between my wife and her ex-boyfriend who showed that they had sex just weeks before we got married.

I love him very much, but now I'm filled with hate.

I'm 48 years old, she's 47 and we've been married for 12 years.

We were both married before, and we had some unhappy experiences.

Her ex-boyfriend was a fraud who left her for her best friend.

We lived in my home since my first marriage, but we always promised ourselves that one day we would find our home.

We found a great house so we could have space to realize my wife's dream.

We bought it and we started setting things up. I was packing and I found a box of my wife's old phones.

Out of curiosity, I looked at one.

I was shocked to read the messages between her and her former boyfriend about a month before the wedding, arranging the sex meeting.

I faced her, and she admitted it and wept. She hasn't stopped apologizing since.

She swears she has no idea why she agreed to it, and it only happened once. I don't trust her.

To make things worse, everyone seemed to know it except me, her family and her friends.

I can't stand being in a room with him right now.

I'm thinking about divorce.

I can't understand how she could betray me, because she broke up with him and I was the one who chose me for part of her broken life.

Psychologist answers: Her ex-boyfriend sounds like an emotionally abusive man she's had a hard time denying such betrayal.

You didn't find any evidence she met him more than once, and it seems likely that he would seduce her by betraying her before your wedding in order to reaffirm his power over her.

It was cruel and sad behavior that your wife is sensitive to her manipulations.

I understand how excited you feel when you now know her betrayal, and everyone knew of it, but I would put before what they were terrified of what they were about to know for the good guy.

They were and are on your side.