Christmas Without It, How You Survive the End of Love

It was expected: Restrictions in motion and forced divisions placed in red and orange regions did not favour life in pairs. Those who have found themselves “isolated” with their best half have seen the relationship severely tested by forced coexistence, lack of space to live and lack of liberation points. But it went even worse for those who found themselves separate from their partner: remote conversations cannot replace physical contact, and they may even be fatal for the relationship they have just started or for the few already are difficult. Whatever happens, it is now over: history has broken, and the Christmas season makes the division even more bitter. However, it must survive.

No, for feeling guilty: The end of a relationship is always a grief or failure. A recent study published in the scientific magazine” Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin” explains that self - esteem plays an important role in overcoming a love relationship. If we're convinced that our story has been destroyed because we haven't been able to stick to the situation or because there's “something wrong with me”, we're destined to suffer longer and longer. The correct attitude is to make sure that things went “as they should have gone” and that he (or she) simply was not the right person for us.

Why does she suffer so much: American anthropologist Helen Fischer of Rutgers University in New Jersey has studied for many years the relationships of love and the behavior of the human brain in various stages of falling into love. The researcher points out that love acts as a physical need comparable to hunger and thirst; in stages of passion and with great emotional emphasis, it generates a form of addiction similar to that of a narcotic substance. Thus, when history is finished, the experience is similar to that of a withdrawal crisis. So, as you do when deoxified by a drug, you must completely deprive yourself of the loved one, face deprivation until you get rid of him. At this point you are ready for a new beginning.

Better a clean break or a second chance? : If we really care about the relationship, it's worth giving yourself and the other one a last chance. The only condition is to be at the same wave length.

And for Christmas, what do you do? : This year's unique situation has advantages and disadvantages. The need to limit as many contacts and bans as possible to meet to celebrate, if not in small groups, drastically reduce the cases in which we will meet by chance, even if we have friends in common. It will be easier to avoid shameful questions and unwanted gossip. The other side of the medal is that we will be less able to distract ourselves, think about other things, and make new friends. We had to focus on loved ones, better able to understand and support and should not hesitate to use their help and faith.

Let's start again by ourselves: Christmas is the perfect time to learn to love and care for ourselves. Have we set a specific budget for a gift for the best half? Let's use it to the last cent to give ourselves a gift. Since we cannot take a trip, let's give ourselves a change of appearance with a beautiful cut and a fashion color, or a new dress to wear at the first party: grief over separation will not last forever and soon the pandemic will be under control enough to allow us to return to our usual life.

No, for feeling guilty: The end of a relationship is always a grief or failure. A recent study published in the scientific magazine” Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin” explains that self - esteem plays an important role in overcoming a love relationship. If we're convinced that our story has been destroyed because we haven't been able to stick to the situation or because there's “something wrong with me”, we're destined to suffer longer and longer. The correct attitude is to make sure that things went “as they should have gone” and that he (or she) simply was not the right person for us.

Why does she suffer so much: American anthropologist Helen Fischer of Rutgers University in New Jersey has studied for many years the relationships of love and the behavior of the human brain in various stages of falling into love. The researcher points out that love acts as a physical need comparable to hunger and thirst; in stages of passion and with great emotional emphasis, it generates a form of addiction similar to that of a narcotic substance. Thus, when history is finished, the experience is similar to that of a withdrawal crisis. So, as you do when deoxified by a drug, you must completely deprive yourself of the loved one, face deprivation until you get rid of him. At this point you are ready for a new beginning.

Better a clean break or a second chance? : If we really care about the relationship, it's worth giving yourself and the other one a last chance. The only condition is to be at the same wave length.

And for Christmas, what do you do? : This year's unique situation has advantages and disadvantages. The need to limit as many contacts and bans as possible to meet to celebrate, if not in small groups, drastically reduce the cases in which we will meet by chance, even if we have friends in common. It will be easier to avoid shameful questions and unwanted gossip. The other side of the medal is that we will be less able to distract ourselves, think about other things, and make new friends. We had to focus on loved ones, better able to understand and support and should not hesitate to use their help and faith.

Let's start again by ourselves: Christmas is the perfect time to learn to love and care for ourselves. Have we set a specific budget for a gift for the best half? Let's use it to the last cent to give ourselves a gift. Since we cannot take a trip, let's give ourselves a change of appearance with a beautiful cut and a fashion color, or a new dress to wear at the first party: grief over separation will not last forever and soon the pandemic will be under control enough to allow us to return to our usual life.

And for the new year... The last night of the year, this time, will inevitably be different: We will welcome him in 2021 without loud parties. But not without joy and without hope. So it doesn't matter if we don't have a partner next door, changing the years has always been the right opportunity to turn the page and start something new. Who knows: Perhaps the innovation of 2021 will be a new, more satisfying, and better love than what we left behind.

The last night of the year, this time, will inevitably be different: We will welcome him in 2021 without loud parties. But not without joy and without hope. So it doesn't matter if we don't have a partner next door, changing the years has always been the right opportunity to turn the page and start something new. Who knows: Perhaps the innovation of 2021 will be a new, more satisfying, and better love than what we left behind.