Why do marriages fail?

With a marriage with a rate of 50 percent not being proper, it is clear that people have no more positive thoughts about it, even when they know what is good for them.

Paradoxically, in our most stable and important relationship, we are less likely to be ourselves mature and discreet. Real life is messy and complicated. When we share a living space with another person, we connect our finances together, negotiate sexuality and weigh the countless decisions that everyday life requires, naturally that things can go wrong.

Then we have “backing” that we bring back from our first family, and all the unresolved issues of the past, not to talk about all the stresses that accumulate, as we walk through the life cycle. If we make or adopt a child, it is even more difficult, since nothing is more difficult for a marriage than the addition or reduction of family members.

In fact, I am surprised that all marriages do not end since the first day of a child's life.

One way to understand why marriages fail is to consider the reaction of confrontation or flight. When the spirals of anxiety are high enough and last long enough, even the maturer relationship may begin to appear unfunctional.

To predict the romance Mary Carr, an dysfunctional marriage is any marriage that has more than one person in it. I always remember my readers, that even the best marriages are stuck in a lot of distance, lots of intensity and lots of pain. Our automatic tendency to fight or run is strong, and marriage is a revulsiver who absorbs anxiety and intensity from every source.

If you haven't noticed, stress will always be with us. Life is one thing after another, so it is normal for married people to move forward between conflict (war response) and distance (responding response). And just because the universe gives you huge stress, that doesn't mean it won't hit you and others while you're down on morality.

So your mother's health is getting worse, your dog dies, your son leaves the treatment center, and your spouse distances from you all in the same year. Unless you are a saint or a evolved Buddhist, intimacy with your partner may be the first thing to see.

If you have a good will and a sincere desire for a better relationship, all can be improved. With marriage, as with learning a language or the routine of exercise, nothing is more important than motivation. Even if you think you've tried everything, there's always something new to do. / “psychologytoday. com”